A Succubus for Saint Patrick's Day and other tales Read online

  He had to act first.

  John picked up a fire extinguisher and moved cautiously through the lab. The room was completely silent. Red warning messages blinked on monitor screens. He reached the big glass tank at the centre of the lab. He saw no sign of blue phosphorescence. So much for hoping Subject HA-001 had left behind a slime trail.

  He advanced to the back of the lab with the fire extinguisher held out before him like a gun.

  They didn’t know how smart Subject HA-001 was. John hoped he was wrong, but he suspected the reason they didn’t know how smart HA-001 was because HA-001 didn’t want them to know how smart HA-001 was. This was not a thought that comforted him as he picked his way between the workbenches. Neither was the knowledge he was a single button press away from instantaneous obliteration.

  He felt something splatter on his right hand.

  * * * *

  They’d brought in John because they thought HA-001 was a giant amoeba with an uncanny ability to mimic the human form, and he was the amoeba guy.

  HA-001 wasn’t an amoeba. John and Vailati didn’t know what she was. The samples they took from Subject HA-001’s body didn’t help either. They didn’t seem to know what they were either. Sometimes John saw highly complex protein structures he’d never seen before, sometimes he saw strange inorganic compounds, and other times it was just water.

  John and Vailati weren’t even sure if HA-001 was alive, at least in the conventional sense.

  He couldn’t remember how the incident with his semen in a Petri dish had come about. It had probably been a stupid bet or dare with Vailati. That was how most of these things started.

  Vailati had a theory that HA-001’s protean nature indicated she had an unstable genome and needed a constant supply of genetic material in order to replenish herself. As theories went it was wild and woolly, but given they’d spent a solid week in the lab and determined nothing, it was about as good as any other conjecture.

  John had gone into one of the cupboards and jacked off onto a Petri dish. They’d placed the Petri dish in the tank and had briefly been excited when HA-001 had sucked it up with a pseudopod. Then they’d felt a little foolish as they realised it didn’t prove anything. She’d have probably done the same with a saucer of milk.

  Sullivan had been livid. She thought it was immature hi-jinks and had no place in a serious lab. She’d been even less happy about Vailati’s next proposal.

  God knows where Vailati had found his volunteer. John knew the killbot factory training must be hardcore, but this was devotion bordering on the insane. There was no way John would put his naked dick anywhere near HA-001. Somehow Vailati had managed to find a man blindly obedient enough to be willing to do that.

  At least Vailati gave some thought to the man’s safety. They partitioned the tank with the volunteer, PV2 Vinnie George, on one side and Subject HA-001 on the other. The only way for her to reach George was by extruding a pseudopod through a small hole in the partition wall. Suspended above that aperture—guillotine-like—was a sharp blade. If they started to lose control of the experiment they would bring the blade down, slicing off HA-001’s appendage. Based on previous experiments, any part of HA-001 separated from the main body quickly liquefied.

  Privately John still thought PV2 Vinnie George was less brave than stark-raving bonkers.

  HA-001 went straight for the naked man’s cock. She sent a feeler through the aperture and it wrapped around and then enveloped the volunteer soldier’s penis.

  “If you feel numbness, a burning sensation or any other kind of discomfort let us know immediately and we’ll terminate the experiment.”

  “It feels okay,” George said, looking down at his engulfed member with a degree of stoicism that amazed John. “Kind of nice actually, like she’s—Oh!—” His mouth dropped open in surprise. “—trying to tug me off.”

  John saw it as well. Through the transparent blue skin of HA-001’s pseudopod he saw George’s foreskin move back and forth. HA-001’s appendage bunched up as it manipulated George’s cock. She was clearly masturbating him.

  He also noted—with some envy—that George was hung like the proverbial horse.

  “Oh that feels really good.” George turned to Vailati with a broad grin. “Is she supposed to be jerking me off?”

  “If you feel uncomfortable we can terminate the experiment at any time,” Vailati said.

  “No no. It’s fine,” George said. “More than fine.”

  HA-001 extruded more protoplasm through the aperture and her pseudopod formed a thick, pulsing cuff around George’s erection. John watched the man’s foreskin move back and forth as HA-001 continued to wank the naked soldier. George closed his eyes and started to moan in pleasure.

  This was the moment when Sullivan stormed off in a huff.

  “Probably more sexual arousal than she gets to see in a year,” John joked with Vailati.

  “Uh, I think I’m going to...” George didn’t get a chance to finish. His body shuddered and he spurted thick ropes of white semen into HA-001’s slime sheath. She sucked it down, using her pseudopod as if it was a pipe. HA-001 sent more of her body through the aperture, thickening the tentacle connecting her to George’s crotch.

  John watched as structures formed within her pseudopod. He frowned. This was something they hadn’t seen before. HA-001’s body was best described as a bag of transparent blue fluid moulded into the shape of a woman. They hadn’t seen any evidence of organelles at either the macro or micro level. They hadn’t even found anything resembling a nucleus.

  John watched as colourless rings formed within the clear blue slime. They were plump like transparent doughnuts and slowly pulsed. They settled around George’s cock like a hoops on a post. The volunteer gave a loud gasp. He was hung like a horse, but still, there was no way the explosion of white cum that erupted from the end of his cock could be natural. George shuddered and shivered on the spot. His hips swung loosely back and forth as a river of milky-white cum flowed down the transparent tentacle to HA-001. There was no way a person could produce that much cum, even if they’d been gifted the sex organs of a satyr.

  “Shut it,” John said.

  Vailati agreed with him. He closed the aperture, slicing off HA-001’s appendage. Separated from the main mass, the pseudopod liquefied and splashed onto the floor of the tank. HA-001 gave a silent sigh of disappointment.

  “Whoa, dear fucking Jesus,” George said. He looked about as steady on his feet as a newborn deer. This was a six-foot-plus ogre of a man with a barrel for a chest.

  “What did it feel like?” Vailati asked.

  “Fucking awesome, doc, if you’ll excuse the language,” George said, a shit-eating grin on his face. “Like the best fucking blowjob ever.”

  They did some tests on George afterwards. There seemed to be no ill effects apart from some strange, purely cosmetic, markings on the man’s penis. John had wondered if those transparent doughnut organelles had been in the process of bonding with the man in some way, a process that had been interrupted when they’d terminated the experiment.

  “You need me again?” George asked, hopeful, as he’d left the lab area. “I’ll do it again, no problem. Hell, once word gets around you’ll have a big line of grunts outside the door wanting to volunteer.”

  That was yesterday.

  * * * *

  John felt something splatter on his right hand. Like water dripping from the ceiling... only he knew it wasn’t water.

  He knew how this went. He’d seen it before in countless horror films. He’d look up and there would be the blob, clinging to the ceiling above him. He’d open his mouth to scream, but it would be too late as the blob flopped down on top of him.

  John was smarter than that.

  He was already diving to his right as a wet mass detached from the ceiling and landed with a splat right where he’d been standing mere moments before.

  Unfortunately John was a lab rat who’d never had much time for the exercise field. He was no
action-movie gymnast. Action-movie gymnasts also had the advantage of multiple takes. They didn’t have to use the one where they collided with a lab bench, jarred their knee and dropped the one weapon that could save them.

  He wasn’t sure it would have done him much good in any case. HA-001 was fast. She sprang back from her fall and was already gushing towards him. His body was lifted up as a surge of protoplasm flowed under him. The soft substance, more solid than the liquid it resembled, bulged up and formed a natural pillow for his head. It happened so fast he didn’t realise he was caught until she was dragging him back to the jiggling main mass of her body.

  And he was caught. Just like an insect stuck in amber before it set. He moved his arms and legs back and forth to no discernible effect, like an ungainly frog trying to swim in thick jelly. HA-001 reared up above him and then flopped down on top of him. His sodden clothes were torn off him like wet tissue paper. Breasts like quivering bowls of jelly rested on his chest as she looked down at him and smiled.

  “I’ve been looking forward to this moment ever since you gave me a taste of your seed.”

  Her speaking didn’t come as much of a surprise to John. He’d suspected for a while she was intelligent enough to hide that intelligence from them. It also gave him a sliver of hope—unlike a mindless amoeboid, she could be reasoned with.

  “The whole lab is being monitored,” he said. “If you don’t stop this and go back to your tank they’ll torch the both of us.”

  HA-001 shook her head.

  “No they won’t,” she said. “I’m too valuable a specimen.”

  “Doesn’t matter,” John said. “They won’t risk you escaping. They’ll incinerate everything in here.”

  “Who said anything about escaping,” HA-001 said, pursing her lips in an insouciant pout. “After I’ve had my fun with you I’m going to go back to my little tank and continue to play the good little test subject... until the time is right.”

  Smart enough to reason with, but also smart enough to think several moves ahead.

  “What do you mean by fun?” he asked.

  HA-001 traced a little circle around his exposed nipple with a molten finger, leaving behind a glistening blue trail that glowed in the gloom.

  “Fun,” she said. Her lips plumped up in a suggestive pout. “And I know you want to have fun with me too. I’ve seen the way you look at me, the way those naughty eyes of yours get stuck on my gooey breasts.”

  She sat up until it looked like she was straddling him, but instead of legs her upper body flowed down into an undifferentiated pile of glowing blue jelly. She cupped hands under her enormous boobs like a greengrocer weighing melons.

  “Come, touch them. I know you’ve wanted to put your hands on them for a while.”

  She plucked his hands out of her sticky mass. John felt curiously non-resistive, as if her glowing body emitted a radiation that sapped away all his energy. He didn’t struggle as she took his hands and pressed them palm-flat against the swell of her breasts.

  This was a little weird and not all that unpleasant. In truth he had wondered what it would feel like and wasn’t disappointed as he felt the pressure of her soft boobs against his hand. It reminded him of a conference in Montreal. His colleagues had dragged him off to a strip club afterwards and a statuesque brunette had taken him up to a little cubicle and forced him to put his hands on boobs as big as milk jugs. HA-001 had even larger breasts and there was something about her skin—smooth, soft, warm—that made his own skin crave contact.

  John didn’t even mind as his fingers started to sink beneath the surface. It meant more surface area could come into contact with her. His hands sank into the transparent bulge of her breasts until they were embedded up to his wrists. Now her warmth was all around his fingers. He felt quiet pulses run through her gelatinous body, a gentle beat he longed to share.

  HA-001 flowed over and around him in delicious little ripples. She straddled him and he was partially engulfed by her gelatinous form. Rather than being a source of terror John found it surprisingly erotic. His cock swelled up in an impressive erection, helped along by HA-001. Her hand felt like it was dripping with warm lubricant as it stroked up and down John’s hard-on.

  “I knew you were up for some fun,” she said with a suggestive smile.

  John wondered if Security was watching the camera feeds and what they’d make of this. It must look like they were shagging. Of course it would look like they were shagging. She was astride him and he had his hands on—okay, in—her tits. What else would it look like?

  Were they fucking?

  HA-001 settled in his lap and John’s cock was enveloped by the moist protoplasm of her body. Oh wow. It felt like oil-covered hands with countless fingers slithering up and down his shaft. Or countless warm mouths filled with a multitude of tickling tongues. HA-001 moved up and down on top of him and her motions sent waves undulating through the bed of jelly she’d piled up under John’s naked body. He floated within her and felt like he was drowning in sensual sensation.

  Yeah, definitely fucking.

  For science, he told himself. Not that pleasure like this needed any excuses.

  “I don’t understand,” he said as she rocked and rolled on top of him. “You’re a different species, from a different dimension. This can’t be for procreation.”

  “This isn’t for procreation,” HA-001 said. She threw back her head and sighed as she pressed gelatinous hips down on John’s lap. “This is how I feed.”

  Okay, so that wasn’t the most romantic of answers, but it did give validity to one of Vailati’s theories.

  “The semen?” he said.

  They thought HA-001’s genome was unstable and as a result she sought fresh DNA to maintain her own. Semen was packed with sperm and sperm were a delivery mechanism to pass on an organism’s DNA. Semen must be like high-grade oil to her and as a result her species must have evolved to be adept at harvesting semen from other organisms.

  Or something like that. It was probably a bollocks theory, but H-space was not exactly conducive to sensible scientific theory. The physicists had it even worse.

  Fuck it, who cared when it felt like a hundred willing harlots were all kissing his naked flesh at the same time.

  HA-001 rose up and down on top of him and her jelly breasts wobbled around his engulfed hands. Her skin was translucent and John could see his erection sticking up inside her. It was weird seeing it engulfed within her protoplasm. It would have been frightening had it not felt so good. The only melting sensation he felt was the relaxation of really satisfying sex.

  Structures started to form within her protoplasm. He’d seen this before in the experiment with PV2 Vinnie George, where she’d produced some kind of intracellular organelles, but at the macro level.

  A sliver of concern flittered into John’s thoughts and roosted. No-one had been able to rouse PFC Sandoval from the coma his body had fallen into after his encounter with HA-001.

  “Listen,” John said. “I don’t mind you sucking up some of my semen, but you need to be careful. The first man you fed off is still in a coma. Something in your biochemistry might have an adverse effect on our physiology.”

  HA-001 continued to rise up and down with languid bobs. Her motions caused John to rock and sway within her gelatinous body.

  “He didn’t complain,” HA-001 said, “and neither will you.”

  Like before, the organelles resembled transparent puffy doughnuts. John’s protests were forestalled as one of them settled over his cock. His mouth dropped open and he quivered uncontrollably in pleasure as the ring stretched to accommodate his glans and then rolled down his twitching shaft. It felt like his cock had just plunged up into a soft, tight orifice. The ring settled down around his root and throbbed pleasurably.

  “Wha—?”

  John managed that far before a second translucent doughnut settled over his cock and rolled down the shaft. Smiling, HA-001 slowly bobbed up and down on top of him. She puffed another elas
tic ring around John’s throbbing hard-on while he squirmed and writhed in helpless pleasure.

  They’d seen her do this to PV2 George. No wonder he’d been so eager to volunteer again.

  A fourth ring wrapped around his cock and little spurt of precum escaped his urethral opening. HA-001 used her protoplasm to suck it off his glans with a contented sigh.

  A fifth and sixth ring settled around John’s cock. Only the tip was visible now—half of the mushroom head sticking up out of the top ring. The soft doughnuts contracted and squeezed his whole cock as she masturbated him with a precision that shouldn’t be possible for two species that had never encountered each other throughout their entire evolutionary history.

  John really wanted to come. This was too much. He writhed and rocked on her cushion of protoplasm and desperately wanted to jet great torrents of spunk into her molten centre. But he couldn’t come. He didn’t understand it. At this point George had been pissing streams of white stuff into her protoplasm. John felt stuck. Was it those weird doughnut organelles? They contracted in rhythmic undulations around his cock, pumping him like an expert hooker wanking him off.

  And still he couldn’t come. Like there was a blockage in there.

  HA-001 rubbed his naked sides with her hands. The moist protoplasm of her body followed her motions and slid against his skin in a sensual massage.

  “Your sex organs are mine now,” HA-001 said.

  She sighed. John’s cock was enveloped by a pleasant feeling of warmth. It felt like the transparent doughnut structures were melting into him, or he melting into them—becoming one single organ.

  “I’m bonded to you,” HA-001 said, giving out another little erotic gasp. “Now I control how much pleasure you receive and when you can come.”

  Too reinforce the point she gave her rings a little squeeze. Pleasure throbbed through John’s body, but still he couldn’t find the release he craved.

  Bonded?

  They’d stopped the experiment with PV2 George at this point. Afterwards they’d noticed some markings on the man’s penis, but they hadn’t looked serious and George hadn’t complained of any discomfort.